Humbled...

Today was a wake up call.

Before I start, please hear my heart.  I don't think I'm too good for any job, and I don't look down on others based on their employment roles.

Today, I was a warehouse worker, and I will be for the next several weeks.  I hauled really heavy boxes.  I learned how to use a pallet jack so that I could load and move hundreds of thousands of pounds of supplies.  I counted and recorded thousands of items that were donated.

For 10 years, I built houses.  I hauled sheet-rock and bags of concrete.  I was strong.  Really strong.

Now, four years removed from house building, I'm not so strong anymore.  My wrists, arms, and shoulders hurt tonight.  I sort of dread knowing that I need to go back and do it all again tomorrow. And the next day, and the next.  I'm a 40 year old women with fibromyalgia...this isn't exactly my dream job!

We are in the process of clearing out the OCC warehouse to make room to process thousands upon thousands of shoeboxes towards the end of November.  One of the areas that I needed to move today was Team Distributions.  This was my area.  For the last 4 years I took those stored supplies to beautiful countries around the world.  Today, I used a pallet jack to move these items so they could be put on a trailer.

Hmmm....that was a bit humbling.  And again, not because I think I'm too good to do this, but because it was God taking me to the baseline (again).

I knew I would have to battle some stray thoughts as I walked into the building this morning.  I knew that I would have to fight some of the lies that our job defines who we are.  I knew that there were certain people I would probably feel sheepish in front of as I stood there sweating in my filth covered jeans.

One of the main things I've wanted out of this whole journey is to learn who I am in Christ.  Today was a step in knowing.  Stripped again of all qualifiers.  Just simply living and serving...no matter what the task is.  I hope that I will like the zeroed out/stripped version of me.  I hope that in the midst of doing hard tasks that I don't really enjoy, that an unexpected joy will be revealed.

On an unrelated note, I just signed the closing papers on my house...by Wednesday, I will no longer be a homeowner.  Nothing in my life is recognizable, and I love and hate it.  I love being a homeowner more than most.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a home and making it my own.  Giving it and my belongings up is the biggest sacrifice I've ever made.  But God told me to, so I did.

And He told me it was ok to leave my job, so I did.  And He told me to move to DC for six weeks, so I did.  And He told me to take a job in a warehouse, so I did.

Although some of things He's asked me to do have been painful, I'm just glad he's speaking to me!!
How wonderful to see the path He is mapping out for me...even though some of it has been very painful, and little of it has made sense to me.

I'm all in, God.  All in.