Dreaming without goals...

I was texting back and forth with a friend last night, and I wrote the following words:

"I may have dreams, but I don't have goals."  

I hit send before I even let that concept fully wash over me.  I had never uttered that exact sentence before.  My fingers typed something that must have been living in the recesses of my brain.  

Those words stopped me in my tracks for a minute.  So much so, that I copied and pasted them into the notes section of my phone.  I didn't want to forget this tiny phrase, and knew that I would want to process it more later.

So this rambling, is me processing these words, with you. 

Truthfully, this sentence doesn't make much sense to me.  I'm a doer.  If I want to accomplish something, I set out immediately to get it done.  It seems ridiculous to me to have a dream, with no plans or goals to be able to accomplish it.  

And seemingly, that's exactly where God has me.  Telling me to dream as big as I can imagine, and then telling me to sit back, and do nothing.  But God, this is me...you know me.  You know that I can't just sit back.  I have some ideas of how we can accomplish these dreams.  Don't you want to hear my ideas?  Don't you want me to go ahead and get started?!  

Nope.  In this season, God has repeatedly told me that He doesn't need my help.  He wants to take care of me.  He has told me that I don't need to seek out answers, but that He will bring them to me.

This is just so foreign to me.  But, He's doing just that.  On almost a daily basis I utter the following words to friends..."can I just tell you what crazy thing God did today?!"  

He keeps showing up.  In crazy ways.  With crazy blessings.  Some of the blessings aren't things that I would have chosen for myself.  And that is precisely why He is in charge, and not me. Because He knows better.  He knows the full picture, where I only have a limited view.  

And hear me when I say, I have BIG DREAMS.  There are some possibilities that quicken my heart. God has allowed me to take the teeniest tiniest steps towards one of these dreams.  But truthfully, I would have already made great leaps if it was up to me.  But its not.  So I wait in obedient anticipation until He tells me to move again.  

At the beginning of this journey I wrote:

"I feel like he's written my story, and everyday, he lets me flip a page.  I don't get to read ahead.  I don't get to skip pages.  And more than anything, I'm trying not to skim the content."

I feel like my story is getting gooooooood!  So good that I would pay full price on my kindle for it, and not wait until it became available online for free from my public library!