For the first time since I resigned, I don't know what is next. And although that is scary, that is exactly what this year is about. Trusting.
I had a dream, and it looked like it was going to come to fruition in January. It involved land and joy and celebrations. But, God closed that door. For the most part, I'm peaceful about it. But, there is a small part of me that mourns the loss of what could have been.
This made me think about the phrase "It is well..." This has sort of been my mantra for the last 4-5 years. Sometimes I've said it in hopes that I would believe it. You know, fake it 'til you make it. Other times, it has absolutely been well with my soul.
Right now though, even if all isn't completely well, I know that all WILL be well.
I was praying this morning, and realized that I apologized to God for questioning things. And immediately, I heard Him say "You idiot, you can always ask me questions. You can always come to me and ask me the great and unsearchable things you do not know." (This might be a loose paraphrase of what I heard God say to me!) :)
Oh how good He is to me. He is so patient with my ridiculous self.
I've got this song on repeat this morning. It does a much better job of explaining my heart right now, than I ever could.
ALL WILL BE WELL
Gabe Dixon Band
The new day dawns
And I am practicing my purpose once again
It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win but if I lose
Oooooo I don't know
I will be tired but I will turn and I will go
Only guessing til I get there then I'll know
Oh oh oh I will know
All the children walking home past the factories
Could see the light that's shining in my window as I write this song to you
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true
All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
The winter's cold
But the snow still lightly settles on the trees
And a mess is still a moment I can seize until I know
That all will be well
Even though sometimes this is hard to tell
And the fight is just as frustrating as hell
All will be well
All the children walking home past the factories
Could see the light that's shining in my window as I write this song to you
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true
All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
Keep it up and don't give up
And chase your dreams and you will find
All in time
All the children walking home past the factories
Could see the light that's shining in my window as I write this song to you
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true
All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
You can ask me how but only time will tell
The new day dawns
And I am practicing my purpose once again
It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win but if I lose
Oooooo I don't know
I will be tired but I will turn and I will go
Only guessing til I get there then I'll know
Oh oh oh I will know
All the children walking home past the factories
Could see the light that's shining in my window as I write this song to you
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true
All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
The winter's cold
But the snow still lightly settles on the trees
And a mess is still a moment I can seize until I know
That all will be well
Even though sometimes this is hard to tell
And the fight is just as frustrating as hell
All will be well
All the children walking home past the factories
Could see the light that's shining in my window as I write this song to you
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true
All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
Keep it up and don't give up
And chase your dreams and you will find
All in time
All the children walking home past the factories
Could see the light that's shining in my window as I write this song to you
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true
All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
You can ask me how but only time will tell
