Pinata full of joy...

Oh gosh...I've had THE BEST few days.

I'm just so grateful right now.  If you were to string me up like a pinata, and hit me with a stick, joy would come bursting out.  

On Thursday, I was able to travel to Charlotte/Boone.  Oh how wonderful to hug the people I love so very much.  

I've said this before, and I'll say this again...I don't know how I hit the friend jackpot.  This world is filled with people that I love, and for some reason, they love me too.  

On Friday, as my friend Tiffany and I were driving back to Boone, we were just chatting.  Chatting about the big and little things in life.  I had not even finished the following sentence, and the phone rang..."I believe that my house will get a contract on it this weekend....."  You guessed it, it was my Realtor calling...to tell me that someone was really interested in the house.  I HADN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!

We were about to get on the plane that night, and my phone rang...it was my Realtor again, telling me that after 7 days on the market, that we had an offer.  And, I accepted it!  

As soon as I got off the plane in DC, my friend, Janette was waiting for me!  She came to spend the weekend with me, and it was DELIGHTFUL!  We saw the sites.  We saw the Blue Angels fly over Chesapeake Bay.  We ate delicious food.  But, all of that was secondary to being in the same room as my friend.  On Saturday night, we just sat and chatted for hours and hours.  We have lived life together.  We know each others deepest and darkest secrets.  We've rejoiced and cried with each other.  We've asked each other the hard questions.

Oh, how wonderful it is to be known.  And as we talked, I realized that I said several times "I know who I am."  What?!  Somehow, someway, I know who I am.  I have embraced who God has made me to be.  I somehow know my place in the world, and how others see me.  And, I accept it.  I'm an imperfect mess, who sends inappropriate ambien texts, and trips at least 4 times a day.  I get my arm stuck in random places.  I accidentally resend texts to the person that sent them to me, and I am a complete goofball.  But God has used me, imperfect me, to do great and mighty things for him.  Things that I'm not qualified to do.  I've said several times in the past week, that I am NOT the most qualified person for the things that the Lord has called me to do.  In fact, I may be the least qualified.  But, I'm willing.  And that might be the biggest thing I have going for me.  I trust God, and I will always go where he sends me, even when I know I don't possess the skills that are needed.  

I learned a long time ago that "God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called."  That's me, to a T.  I'm not qualified for most of the things I've done...God just simply keeps showing up, and equipping me.

God is near...

I had intentions of trying to write a blog post several times a week.  The last thing I wrote was on August 28th, and I didn't finish it.

It was titled "Lonely..."  At the moment I started it, I felt desperately lonely.  And then, just moments later, something had shifted, and it wasn't necessary to finish it.  See below for my incomplete but completely humbling post.
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Lonely.

I feel like we're not allowed to say that word.  It doesn't feel socially acceptable to utter that word, especially when referring to self.  That if we admit to this, that we are a failure.  That we aren't worthy.  That there is something wrong with us.

But today, I am taking a big gulp, with a lump in my throat and saying that I am lonely.  Not always.  Not even usually.  But right now, in this moment, I am.
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And then, as soon as I put the period on that last sentence, God showed up.  Not in a subtle way.  I feel like he tackled me with his presence, and gave me a big bear hug.

It was more than receiving funny, sweet, encouraging text messages from people.  It was more than finding out in that moment my friend Brittany was coming to visit.  Those things were amazing and wonderfully timed...and I'm so grateful for all of that.

But more than anything, it felt like God changed my thoughts, my perception, and my reality in that moment.

The baseline of almost everything I write is a prayer.  Although others may read it, it's really a time for me to be completely honest and share my heart with the Lord.

Essentially, this lump inducing word vomit was really a prayer...and God heard me and showed up before I could even finish writing it.  Wow.

To be sure, I will be lonely again. And it will feel awful.  And God may not show up nearly as fast the next time.  But, I can be certain in the midst of every emotion that God is indeed near.