God is near...

I had intentions of trying to write a blog post several times a week.  The last thing I wrote was on August 28th, and I didn't finish it.

It was titled "Lonely..."  At the moment I started it, I felt desperately lonely.  And then, just moments later, something had shifted, and it wasn't necessary to finish it.  See below for my incomplete but completely humbling post.
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Lonely.

I feel like we're not allowed to say that word.  It doesn't feel socially acceptable to utter that word, especially when referring to self.  That if we admit to this, that we are a failure.  That we aren't worthy.  That there is something wrong with us.

But today, I am taking a big gulp, with a lump in my throat and saying that I am lonely.  Not always.  Not even usually.  But right now, in this moment, I am.
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And then, as soon as I put the period on that last sentence, God showed up.  Not in a subtle way.  I feel like he tackled me with his presence, and gave me a big bear hug.

It was more than receiving funny, sweet, encouraging text messages from people.  It was more than finding out in that moment my friend Brittany was coming to visit.  Those things were amazing and wonderfully timed...and I'm so grateful for all of that.

But more than anything, it felt like God changed my thoughts, my perception, and my reality in that moment.

The baseline of almost everything I write is a prayer.  Although others may read it, it's really a time for me to be completely honest and share my heart with the Lord.

Essentially, this lump inducing word vomit was really a prayer...and God heard me and showed up before I could even finish writing it.  Wow.

To be sure, I will be lonely again. And it will feel awful.  And God may not show up nearly as fast the next time.  But, I can be certain in the midst of every emotion that God is indeed near.