Baseline...

Months ago when I knew I would be taking a leap of faith into the unknown, I felt like the Lord was telling me that He wanted me to know who I am in Him.  Not in my job.  Not in my relationships. Not in my appearance.  Not in my belongings.

Now, exactly two weeks removed from having a job, and several months removed from having a beautiful home, and really cool things, I find myself at the baseline.  The cash register has been balanced.  The tare is set at zero.  

I find myself stripped down of all of my qualifiers.  There is now nothing that defines who I am except for who I really am.  I guess I could let the term "unemployed" sneakily creep in and try to tell me who I am, or how others view me.  But, I don't accept that.  That's not who I am, it's simply something that I've chosen, with God's permission (and blessing) that I am sinking into...for now. 

I was at a party last week.  The weather was perfect.  A duo was set up on the back porch with their instruments.  It was a surprise for the birthday boy.  They were mesmerizing.  And not just because it was the most beautiful night in dreamy North Carolina.  Although, that never hurts!  They were just good.  Really good.  They have the kind of voices that would challenge you to not feel something.  I think it would be impossible.  

My friend, Matt, was standing next to me, and he said "Do you think they have any idea just how good they really are?!"  My response was "There's no way they could know, unless someone tells them."  

You don't know you're pretty unless someone tells you.

You don't know you're smart until someone makes mention of it. 

You didn't know you were fat until someone told you.

You didn't know you had a big nose until someone pointed it out.

As kids, we were blissfully unaware of what made us special...or what made us weirdos.  We didn't know a lot of things about ourselves, until someone else decided to share their perspective.  And who's to say that their perspective was correct?

I don't have many (if any) earthly, marketable talents.  But one thing that I've heard consistently is that I'm an encourager.  I believe in telling people when they look pretty, or they smell nice.  I believe in telling people the things about them that I find lovely.  And good.  And kind.  I'm sure I've made many a person feel uncomfortable with my unfiltered words of praise.  But, I will never say anything that I don't mean.  I don't and won't give false compliments.  

I know that at times, I've also hurt people I love with my big 'ol mouth.  I know I've said things that were unkind, uncensored, and mean.  Some of the things might have been true statements, but often the things I zeroed in on were simply from my perspective.  And again, who is to say that my perspective is right?  Maybe my judgment on a given day was off, because my attitude sucked.  Or because I was feeling bad about myself.  Or someone had said something to me that hurt me, and propelled me forward to hurt someone else.  Or sometimes I'm just a jerk.  

What others say about us matters.  We're fooling ourselves to say it doesn't.  It's nice to be praised.  And truthfully, we should all take more time to build each other up.

But, what we get from others shouldn't be our primary source of identity.  It simply should be the overflow.  The gravy on top.  It shouldn't speak louder than what God has already told us.  

What if we all decided to zero out today?  To let our baseline be the fact that God tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made?  That in Him, we are a new creation, and that we are chosen, because He first loved us?

What if we let him slough off all of the layers of lies, and hurts, and crap that we have bought into for years, and truly believed the things that He has written?

Because really, if we believe in and buy into the notion that, "as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved," wouldn't we more naturally do the following "...clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." 

I believe that when we feel loved, we are able to be more loving.  

Empty me, oh God, and fill me back up each day with your truth.